Little Red Planet, Big Waste of Money

If you haven't already, it won't be long until you hear about Phoenix, the latest NASA probe to land on Mars. I've already read claims that Phoenix has sent back historic photographs, which apparently give us much more information about the Martian surface than previous photographs relayed back to Earth from the 2004 Mars Exploration Rover Mission. I'm no expert, but they don't really seem to be radically different from the original Viking images that we first saw in the late '70s. From all the images I've seen and things I've read, Mars can be summed up pretty quickly:

Mars is cold, redish-brown, dusty, and has small rocks in some places, large rocks in others. Some regions are relatively flat, others are cratered and mountainous. There is very little water, and what water there is tends to exist as ice. There are no signs of life.

So far NASA has sent seven landers (probes that actually land on the planet's surface), six of which have been successful. Additionally, NASA over the years has sent eleven orbiters to Mars, of which seven have been successful. Of the seven landers, Phoenix is being heralded as being the most economical at the low, low price of $420 million. That's right, for just $420 million, you too can have a Mars lander that not only lands safely on Mars (probably), but also takes uninspiring pictures of rock-strewn plains, and cooks soil samples to look for evidence of microbial life. Oh, and did I mention that, because its landing site was planned to be further north than previous missions, it is only expected to remain operational for three months (before the dark Martian winter sets in, at which time its solar panels will be rendered useless)? Yes, NASA has really spent the taxpayer's dollar wisely!

Unfortunately, the billions of dollars spent on the exploration of Mars is just the tip of the iceberg, when you start considering the ever-growing annual NASA budget of $16.8 billion. Sure, some good things have come out of NASA's research (Tang and Astronaut Ice Cream come to mind), but I believe too much time, effort, and money is being spent to entertain the Star-Trek fantasies of NASA employees. We've seen a bunch of cool pictures and compiled some interesting data concerning God's universe, but we still haven't found any signs of life outside of our little blue and green planet.

Phoenix won't find life, but that won't keep NASA from sending yet another probe to Mars in search of it. Maybe someday we'll come to the realization that not only is Mars barren; but that we are alone in this beautiful universe, and that our Creator intended it to be that way!

Get Rich, Quick(ly)!

I find it humorous, in this age of The Rising Cost of Everything, that it seems that everyone has a solution for everybody else's financial woes. Everyone has some innovation, some process, that will build almost-sudden wealth when properly applied. Don't misunderstand me; there are valid ways to become financially independent through hard work and discipline (e.g. the kind of advice given by Clark Howard, Dave Ramsey, etc.). I am amused, though, by the other golden nuggets of financial "wisdom" that are handed down from the ivory towers of those who attained wealth without a life-long regimen of working hard and controlled spending. The loving condescension they show to the average Joe is sometimes laughable.

Take, for example, the advice that I heard several weeks ago on talk radio. The host said, "The best thing to do in this economy [bad economy is implied], is to get out of debt. If you currently have debt, pay it off." Wow! Really?! That is the most amazing, life-changing thing I've ever heard! Finally, I know what to do with that huge pile of cash in the spare room! Sure, becoming debt-free is a goal of mine, but it's not something that I can accomplish tomorrow, next year, or probably even ten years from now. I'm sure, though, that it is easy for those that have national television and/or radio programs who have huge ad revenue checks coming in the door every day, but that isn't me. I mean, have you seen me or heard me talk?

I've also been instructed to "Buy gold, because that's the only sure way to protect your money" and "Invest in foreign currencies and various commodities, like oil and grain." Epiphany! Manna from Heaven! Seriously, how much gold should I buy to protect myself? Last time I checked, gold was around a thousand dollars an ounce. Hmm... That means that I might be able to comfortably buy, uh, two ounces. Short of total economic failure, this option isn't going to do me any good. Even if things got that bad (imagine a Mad Max-like scenario), how valuable will a couple ounces of shiny metal be? As far as the foreign currencies, oil, and grain are concerned, I'd have to buy an awful lot, and the price would have to skyrocket for me to make any significant financial gains.

It's after hearing all of this expert counsel, that I have come to the following conclusion. There are only three proven ways to become rich quickly:

1. Win the lottery. If you do this, please watch out for the lightning bolts and space junk headed your way. Also, don't ever fly on an airplane again.
2. Become famous. How you go about this is up to you, but once you get there, the money never runs out. If you're ever again strapped for cash, you can always be on Hollywood Squares, Celebrity Apprentice, The Surreal Life, or write a scandalous tell-all book. Which leads me to...
3. Write a book, or star in a DVD series, about how to build instant wealth. The actual money-making method that you preach isn't important. It's not about your followers becoming rich; you're getting rich on their hopes of quick, no-risk, gargantuan profits.

No thank you, I'll just keep making money the old-fashioned way. Come to think of it, there may be a fourth way to build wealth. Why don't you send me a small, one-time payment of $999 to my PayPal account? If you do, I'll tell you the secret to becoming obscenely rich in just two days! That's right, two days!