You Say Tomato?

Is the tomato a fruit or a vegetable? A friend referred to an article a while back that attempted to solve the apparent controversy, entitled "The Truth Behind Tomatoes that Scientist Don't Want You to Know". For those of you that are short on time or attention, here is the author's conclusion: Tomatoes are vegetables because the Supreme Court says so. Sound ridiculous? It's true! See Nix v. Hedden 1893.

So what's the truth behind the tomato? That's an interesting question. Why is "the truth" always behind something? Why can't "the truth" be in front, on top of, to one side, or under something? Also, where would one look for "the truth" behind a tomato? A tomato doesn't even have a front or back (or sides for that matter, unless of course we're assuming a particular perspective). And if "the truth" is always behind said object, what can we assume is out in front, on top, to the sides, and underneath? Falsehood (or "anti-truth"), we would have to conclude. So in order to find "the truth" behind the tomato, we must first assume a fixed orientation of the tomato to the observer, and then assume that whatever is on the back side of the tomato must be true. Sounds like pretty shady reasoning to me. I mean, how big is "the truth", anyway? If, for example, we're wanting to find "the truth" behind a tomato (a standard-sized tomato), and "the truth" is the size of a pea (a standard-sized pea positioned behind the tomato), then looking behind the tomato (from a fixed perspective) one would see an awful amount of "untruth" compared to the relatively small amount of "truth". If, however, "the truth" could be represented with, say, a beach ball, then one could argue that "the truth" is not only directly behind said tomato, but also behind and off to either side. And what if "the truth" and "untruth" aren't really all that discernable from one another, as in the case of Tomato: fruit or vegetable? ? Then the border between "truth" and "untruth" gets all fuzzy and confusing. Do you see the problem here, or is it just me?

So, is the tomato a fruit or a vegetable? Oh, let's call the whole thing off!